


Tipsy

by Sockopunch



Category: Home Movies (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Drunken Kissing, Home Movies - Adult Swim, M/M, adult swim, and one of them getting kinda handsy, nothing graphic just two dudes accidentally kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-19 12:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22877944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sockopunch/pseuds/Sockopunch
Summary: Mr. Lynch and Coach McGuirk happen to both attend the end of the school year faculty party which leads Lynch to taking a 'very drunk' McGuirk home at the end of the night.Something happens that changes the nature of their estranged relationship from one Lynch felt he could understand to something much more confusing.
Relationships: Ronald Lynch/Coach John McGuirk
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	Tipsy

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a year or two ago and was much too shy to share it, but now... fuck it.

The end of the year faculty party had been a rather pleasant function. Lynch, who had never been very big on parties, had oddly enough enjoyed himself despite hemming and hawing about whether to attend or not for days prior. Socializing with his fellow coworkers in a more casual manner was a nice change of pace, as was the approaching three months of vacation. A God sent after the long year he had had, he certainly felt he deserved a relaxing and restful break. 

Yes the evening had been very nice. That was, until it had reached its conclusion. 

The last of the stragglers were taking their leave for the evening, including John McGuirk. Who was very very intoxicated, per the usual. The hulking man often drank like a fish, and no surprise he had over done it with the appeal of free alcohol at the party. Lynch was certain that was one of the only reasons why he had bothered to come. He hadn’t mingled with him during the party, but he figured that he had been hitting up the bar throughout the entire duration of the party, destroying whatever brain cells he had left, it seemed to be one of the only things he liked to do. 

Lynch didn’t know what possessed him to offer McGuirk a ride home, the two of them weren’t friends even on good days, in fact, it was safe to say that they hated each other. Yet, before he knew it, he was approaching the tipsy man and insisting on driving him home; solely on the warrant that it was for his own safety and the safety of others on the road.

McGuirk scoffed and brushed him off, claiming he was well enough to drive. But after fumbling in his steps and struggling to locate his car keys, he relented and accepted his offer. Following Lynch to his car and promptly taking the passenger seat without another word, after Lynch had agreed to bring him back the following morning to pick up his car from the school lot. 

The car ride was long and strangely quiet. Lynch figured that McGuirk had fallen asleep, and was beginning to think this had been a bad idea, for there was no way in hell he could move his heavy set companion out of his car once they reached their destination. 

Just then, McGuirk's groggy voice sounded, “ Ya know Lynch, I don’t like you.” 

Thank god, he wasn’t asleep.

“ I know, you’ve told me that one a many times.” Came the usual deadpan response. 

“ No, you don’t get it. I don’t not like you personally. I don’t like you conceptually.” 

Lynch quirked a brow but kept his gaze focused on the road, the last thing he needed to do was crash into another pole, like the last time McGuirk had been in his car. 

“ What, do you mean?” 

“ Lynch, you got it all figured out. You like your job don’t you? You’re passionate about teaching or whatever, you’re good with kids, you got a house, and a car. What isn’t perfect in your life? That’s why I hate you. You’re better than me, in every which way, you got everything figured out to a T, you’re successful.” 

“ Don’t you like your job?” Lynch questioned with slight curiosity. 

“ Are you kidding? I hate it.” 

“ But, you’re good with the kids, they seem to like you.” 

“ Oh shut up Lynch, I’m not fishing for compliments from you. I know I’m a piece of shit and I know you think so too.” 

“ You are a piece of shit, I’m glad you’re sober enough to recognize that.” 

“ Thank you.”

The two fell into silence once more. The road seeming to drag on forever. 

Lynch couldn’t wait to crawl into bed once this was all over, and forget that McGuirk existed for the next three months. He glanced at the soccer coach for a split second to see the larger man gazing out the window presumably daydreaming. He wondered what on earth he was thinking about. 

“ Ya know, I don’t completely think you’re a piece of shit.” Lynch spoke up after some silence. 

“ Yes you do.” 

“ No, I just think you’re a bit abrasive at times, but there’s good qualities to you, you should show that side of yourself more often. Maybe, people would be able to see that you’re a good guy deep down.” 

“ I don't need anyone Lynch. That leads to nothing but trouble.” McGuirk stated bitterly. 

“ Mmm.” There was some emotional baggage tied to his response that Lynch wouldn't dare touch with a six foot pole. 

“ Don’t do that! I hate it when you do that!” McGuirk suddenly barked. 

“ What?” Lynch asked unfazed by the sudden raised voice.

“ The ‘MMM’, I know you’re being condescending.” 

“ I’m not, I’m just indicating I’m listening.” 

“ You’re so full of shit.” 

“ And you’re awfully coherent for someone who’s supposedly drunk.” 

“ Whoa whoa, I never said I was drunk. I’m tipsy, and your stupid ass was the one who wanted to drive me home because you thought I would crash.” 

“ My mistake.” 

“ You’re an idiot.” 

“ I’m starting to think so myself.” Lynch muttered as McGuirk laughed. 

“ Lynch, what are we?” 

“ Acquittances.” 

“ You’re awfully nice to me all things considered.” 

“ Don’t get used to it.” 

McGuirk laughed again at this, reaching over to slap a heavy hand on Lynch’s back in a friendly manner. 

He really was drunk, with how his moods were changing so sporadically, but then again, it wasn’t much different from how he behaved when he was sober come to think of it. 

“ You’re kinda cute when you’re trying to be mean.” 

“ Are you flirting with me?” 

“ No, but if I was what would you do about it?” 

“ Ask you to get out of my car.” Lynch stated simply, pointing a finger towards the window. 

McGuirk quirked his head to the side to glance at what he was pointing at only to find they had somehow ended up in front of his house. 

“ Oh, you’re funny, that was good timing.” 

“ I try.” 

“ But I’m serious, you’re kinda cute.” 

“ Mmm, get out of my car McGuirk.” 

“ Lynch, I’m gonna need your help to get inside. I’m too tipsy to walk right.” 

Lynch rolled his eyes but got out of the car and opened the door for his coworker. McGuirk latched onto him once he pulled himself out of the passenger seat and rummaged in his pockets to find his house keys as they made their way over to the front door. After several minutes of the key not quite going into the keyhole, Lynch snagged them from McGuirk’s hands and opened the door for him. He realized once they walked in, that this was the first time he had ever entered the man’s house. It was just how he would have imagined it, messy and beaten down looking just like it’s owner. 

Fitting. 

“ You wanna stay? It's kinda late.” McGuirk asked after he had moved himself to the couch to give Lynch a break from holding him upright. 

“ No, I have to get home. But thanks for the offer.” 

“ Well thanks for bringing me home Ron.” 

“ Ah, so you do know my name.” 

“ Course I do, I’m a coach Lynch. We call people by their last names, it's a thing we do” 

“ Right. Well, have a goodnight.”

“ Wait,” McGuirk called out grabbing the comparatively smaller man’s arm, forcing him to sit on the couch with a strong tug. “ You sure you don’t wanna stay?” 

“ I’m positive.” 

McGuirk didn’t answer him, his large hand simply stayed hooked on Lynch’s arm and his gaze was focused on anywhere but Lynch’s face. He had the strongest urge to try something out but the tiniest part of himself that was feeling sober knew he would regret the action once he committed it. Or maybe he wouldn't, he did a bunch of stupid shit all the time, it was hard to keep track of whether or not he regretted most of it or not. 

‘Fuck it.’ He reasoned after another painful silence had passed between them. Lynch was much too nice to rip his arm away from his grasp and leave on his own accord so why the hell not. 

Before Lynch could fully process what was going on, he found that McGuirk had leant towards him, cupped his cheeks, and smashed their mouths together roughly. His cheeks reddened in both shock and embarrassment and his stomach twisted in a way that he could only assume was disgust at the action. But he couldn't even trust himself to process what he was feeling, the action had happened so suddenly that it felt like his brain had short-circuited. McGuirk on the other hand, realized he rather liked kissing Lynch and wanted to do it again and again. 

McGuirk’s finger laced into Lynch’s bowtie and undid the simple knot with one small tug followed by both hands moving to undo the uppermost button of his baby blue shirt. 

Lynch opened his mouth to question what on earth he was doing, but was silenced by the larger man’s mouth making contact with his again. He made a noise of protest but McGuirk didn’t seem to notice nor cared, pushing the 4th grade teacher onto his back and straddling him effortlessly underneath him on the couch. His mouth unfortunately tasted of beer he noted with some disdain before he relaxed enough to kiss the soccer coach back as the latter’s fingers dug into his golden locks with a contented sigh. When McGuirk parted from him to breathe, Lynch took the opportunity to push the heavy lug away, cheeks a deep scarlet now. 

“ Right, as I was saying I need to go.” He stated with an awkward cough trying to keep the little dignity he had left. What had just transpired between them was beyond unprofessional and quite frankly, he didn’t wish for it to happen again. 

“ Don't’ be such a prude Lynch, you were enjoying that, you kissed me back.” McGuirk said with a smug smirk reaching out for him again. The fourth grade teacher had nothing to say to defend himself against that claim. 

“ G-Goodnight McGuirk.” Lynch reirated moving swiftly out of his arm length and to the door, slamming it behind him. He could hear McGuirk’s angry protests from behind the closed door, but remained focused on getting to his car and home. 

Seated in his car once more, the man stared at the dimly lit suburban street blankly trying to make sense of what had just happened. The car’s engine vibrated softly but he made no inclination to put the car in drive. His hands rested on the steering wheel, tightening his grip on the thing until his knuckles had turned a stark white. Then slammed his forehead against the wheel, sounding the car’s horn and letting it blare for a while to tune out his own swirling thoughts. 

What the hell was going on?

Why did he feel such guilt at leaving now? And why on earth was his chest aching from the mere thought that this would be long forgotten come the following morning. He felt so conflicted, he blamed it on the martinis he had had himself, maybe he was just the tiniest bit drunk too. 

Yeah, that’s what it was, it was the alcohol talking, and boy did he want to drown in more of it, to forget about what had just happened. Because it was easier to wipe it from his memory than to dwell on the ridiculous notion that there could be something between him and McGuirk, because he wasn’t ready to admit that there might be a possibility of them being, compatible. 


End file.
